Member-only story
Why I Started Meditation.
When I was 10 years old, my mother passed away. A week later, my grandmother who was quite literally my second mother at the time passed away.
It took 8 years for me to process.
I had no guidance. No one to show me what to do or what not to do. My dad processed this with alcohol. I was scared.
It made me extremely angry. I would fight a lot. Be extremely protective of my friends. I wanted to be feared so I felt safe.
This then attracted the wrong crowd from a young age.
There were times where they’d come and knock on my door, I wouldn’t know whether they were coming to beat me up, or if we were going to beat someone else up. I was 12.
I lived my teenage years in fear. My depression peaked at 18.
I had, what I now realise as one of the most important recognitions we can have in this lifetime.
That there is nothing in this world that can ever make me happy, unless some day that thing will leave me, die, disappear, and inevitably bring me misery.
This took my depression to its peak, where I devoted to finding a way out, or I would simply kill myself.
The problem was, I had no idea where to look. Then I remembered Steve jobs, who I admired at the time, said one thing.
